He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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