I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
