Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
