oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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