that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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