i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This is my gift to your gina
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
