Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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