his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
