what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
