Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
