if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
