Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad

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(707): View more from California

My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.

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(343): View more from Ontario

STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.

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(513): View more from Ohio

i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.

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(816): View more from Missouri

why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011

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(514): View more from Quebec

No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.

(604): View more from British Columbia

That is not what no strings attached sex is about.

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