So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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