Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize