My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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