Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize