we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
