need another drink. this is the easiest way
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
