I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
