I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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