I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
