Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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