so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she looked like the before picture.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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