you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize