Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
