There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
