all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
