I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
