Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
