So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
