Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
