I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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