I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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