You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize