**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
