I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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