I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
