It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
