bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
