I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
