So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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