a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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