I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
