After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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