I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
