Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
