Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
