Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
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