Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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