HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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