Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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