I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
