we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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