a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
