he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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