Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
