There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize