I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Im part way to drunk.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
