just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
