im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize