he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
